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| Pastors > Resources |
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Spiritual Growth  |
Date |
Aug 19, 2005 |
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Why Men Hate Going to Church
David Murrow
Look at almost any contemporary church and you will notice three gender gaps: of presence, of participation, and of personality. Most of the people who attend church and play an active role in its ministries are women. (The notable exceptions here are senior pastors, obviously.) Moreover, the personality or "spirit" of the congregation is typically feminine rather than masculine. Because of these gender gaps, men perceive church as a place for women. According to David Murrow , this is why they hate going there.
Murrow argues that Christians can do one of three things to address the church's gender gaps. They can "keep the church the way it is," "adjust the thermostat," or "meet men's deepest needs." The status quo is obviously unacceptable, so Murrow recommends that churches pursue the second and third options. What Murrow means by adjusting the thermostat is making "changes [to our existing church model] so that men will be more comfortable." This involves adopting male-friendly styles of leadership, infusing the pastorate with a masculine spirit, teaching with masculine learners in mind, worshiping in a male-friendly manner, encouraging women in the church to adapt themselves to increased male participation, and providing ministry opportunities that spark men's interests. If churches really want to reach men, however, Murrow advises them to meet men's deepest needs by giving every man a "spiritual father" a "band of brothers."
Two potential criticisms of Why Men Hate Going to Church are obvious: It trades on stereotypes of the differences between men and women, and it requires the subordination of women. I think both criticism are off the mark. While many differences between the sexes are socially constructed, some are biologically hardwired. Taking such differences into account is not sexist; it is common sense. As for the subordination of women, Murrow wisely writes: "The goal is not male dominance; it's male resurgence. We welcome the masculine spirit by considering men's needs, assigning them a sacred role, and letting them be men." Exactly! Murrow's suggestions about adjusting the thermostat include some eye-opening examples of how church emasculates men, as well as suggestions for avoiding emasculation.
My criticism of Murrow is less obvious. I agree with him that many men don't go to church because they feel it is a place for women. But in my experience, a lot of men don't go to church simply because they don't believe the gospel is true. We must change the atmospherics of the church to encourage male involvement. But we must also respond to their deep skepticism of the Christian message. A masculine spirit in the church? Absolutely! A muscular apologetic for the truth of Christianity? Even more so! |
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This material is used with permission. All rights reserved. |
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